It truly is challenging for me to put my thoughts together and to be able to express myself effectively, having made the decision 3 years ago to forego all prescription medications, in exchange for a daily practice of mindfulness, meditation, writing, CBT and DBT techniques….please know that my writing style either flows when writing about positive life experiences, and becomes hindered as I touch on more negative life events. Sometimes, just simply getting the thoughts and words out of my head and onto paper, is an achievement in its self.
To my fellow authors, recovery writers/bloggers, and causes advocates (Adoption/FosterCare/Mental Health) I write under the pen name, ShirleyAlexis, Wounded Healer.
To my fellow foster care alumni I write under my ‘Traumatic Diaries of a Wounded Healer’ blog, where I share the benefit of my traumatic childhood experiences, from the 8 years (before and after my first adoption, terminated after 6 years of Ritualistic Abuse, Imprisonment, and prolonged Starvation) I spent floating around in the Oklahoma State Foster Care System.
My first published work, Abandoned Child, Unbonded Heart, is currently being referenced by several Foster Care Centers as, I am told, some current Foster Care parents have been sharing my advice among themselves, after finding it useful as an aide in helping to ease the transition of their own foster children.
My experiences in foster care, and the 6 years of daily torture, endured in the home of my first adoption, were extremely detrimental to my mental stability, giving way to a very dark adolescence.
There was absolutely NO SUPPORT SYSTEM available to me as a traumatized teenager, freshly transferred to Wa State Foster Care in 1981, at age 10.
Repeatedly abandoned and rejected, by my therapists and counselors, after my initial attempts to report the horrendous abuse that I had endured during my first 10 years of life, while living in Oklahoma State, were simply, “ignored” by my therapists, I was actually TOLD by two of my therapists, to SHUT-UP about my ABUSE, and at age 14, this was the final blow, that gave way to self-harm practices, (cutting my arms and thighs, and hoarding junk food in my bedroom for my junkfood binges), eventually leading to 3 failed suicide attempts between age 14 – 19.
At 19, the one and only friend that i had in life, gave up her fight for survival, and ended her life, abandoning me to face my adulthood , and predicted future of doom, all alone….
She would have probably aged-out of the foster care system had it been today’s time frame, but back in the late 80’s, ‘we’ simply became run-aways, and lost to the darkness of street life.
As an adult, I can reflect back on this life altering experience, and perceive it as a blessing-in-disguise.
Searching for close to 20 years, for an answer for WHY, and sickened by my choice to play the role of the VICTIM for so many years, I received the answer to my question, one that I certainly never really intended to recieve.
My friend appeared to me in a dream, and I remember this dream as vividly as the catatonic flashbacks I experienced in my thirties.
The realization that I made, upon awaking the next morning, was that through the process of taking her own life, my friend had actually saved me from ending mine.
That was it. The huge realization responsible for me picking myself up from the ground that I had been crawling on for so long, and the event that made me, start living each day of the rest of my life, committed in my efforts to focus on ways of fixing the corrupted parts of the foster care system that had failed me and my friend, repeatedly, throughout our childhood.”
I am a creator of Global Unity, both as a way of uniting the survivors of our world, to other survivors across the oceans, but also as a way of creating a global life line support system, putting providers (psychotherapists for PTSD, behavioral health specialists for BPD, and neurologists Co-Morbidity) in touch with survivors, advocates and other educators, as a way of combating and eradicating the Mental Health and Social Stigmas, responsible for taking the lives of so many.
Thank-you for providing me with another opportunity for achieving further validation, by inviting me to share the experiences that continue to be my driving force for the very way in which I live my life, today.
ShirleyAlexis ~ WoundedHealer”.
“I am a LOVER of all of MANKIND, a FIGHTER for the less fortunate and a SURVIVOR of all things EVIL…”
“I am a compassion-driven ADVOCATE4CHANGE…and have become a VOICE for all those who have been forever silenced by Abuse….. Considered a powerful FORCE, a force that the ‘ordinary’ would rather NOT have to contend with…I am a STIGMA-FIGHTER for all who face ADVERSITY in their lives, and a loyal DEFENDER of our World’s lost and innocent.”
“I am a WRITER, a BLOGGER and newly published AUTHOR, and an EDUCATOR for the Women, the Children, and the Mentally Challenged, within my local Community.”…I am also a PUBLIC SPEAKER , and am also the FOUNDER of several ONLINE CRISIS SUPPORT GROUPS, offering 24 hr Crisis SUPPORT to those who need it.”
“I am also a “Two-Time Adoptee”, after enduring the termination of my first adoption, following a traumatic 6 yr period of Ritualistic Childhood Abuse (using Mind Control), which included prolonged periods of Starvation and Isolation, at the hands of my first adoptive ‘mother’.”
“As an adult survivor of the traumatic ritualistic (dehumanizing) abuse that I experienced during my childhood, the road to survivorship, has been, at times, excruciating and mentally exhausting, and most certainly has provided me with extraordinary adversities and other every-day Life challenges to overcome.”
“Choosing to view each challenge as a new opportuinty for personal growth and enrichment, I have made an art of meeting each new challenge head-on.”
“In learning the importance of confronting my own fear’s in life, I now inspire other abuse survivors to empower themselves, through advocacy and crisis support, as has been my way of life for nearly 30 years, now.”