Henk: I live in Belgium. I am an advocate because as a little boy, I was sexually abused by a 16 – year old girl. It happened during the summer of 1971 … I was 7. It all happened on a local playground where hundreds of boys and girls spent part of their summer vacation. I was looking forward to have fun and play with new friends as I did the year before.
I had no idea this year would be my last one …
She was our group leader and one day, she told me to come with her to help cleaning up her pavilion. Once inside, she locked the door and asked me if I had ever kissed a girl. Before I could even answer the question, she was already standing in front of me.
She told me to kiss her so I did … on her cheek. She smiled at me, I felt like I was “a hero” but OMG, I was so wrong.
“If you want to come back during the next weeks to play with your friends, you are going to do exactly what I tell you” … Right here,
right now. “If you don’t, I’ll make sure you’ll have to stay at home”
“Remember that I’m in charge” …
I was afraid to tell my mom what had happened, I didn’t want to stay at home, I wanted to be with my friends. And on top of that,
I didn’t want to “witness” the domestic violence anymore.
For more than 3 weeks I was sexually abused.
I had to “do” everything she told me to. Every single day, same place, same time, except during the weekends but on Saturdays and Sundays, there was the verbal and emotional abuse. I was trapped but I couldn’t talk about it to anyone and besides, who would have believed me.
For more than 3 weeks, I went through hell and back.
So called “experts” say you can actually see when a child is being abused … I don’t agree, even a child can hide his emotions and feelings when necessary.
The nightmares disappeared after a couple of years, the guilt too but everything “came back” when I was 16 and had my first serious relationship with a girl.
I could only “give” and I kept asking if what I was doing was feeling good. I didn’t think about myself, about what I liked. I didn’t even know what I would like. As long as my gf was “satisfied” …
Nothing has changed … I am still “giving”
I want to make a difference for all the women, men, and children who are suffering from violence, child abuse, alienation, rape and bullying. My page is so important to me and to everyone reading my posts
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Henk Lefevre, CEO & founder.