Month: August 2014

Featured Advocate: Anonymous from MI & U – Mental illness and You 9/10

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del53Anonymous:  I have a brother who suffers from schizophrenia . I want others to  be aware and not afraid of mental illness.

MI & U – Mental illness and You

Understanding Mental Illness and overcoming the stigma
How Mental illness affects us all and how we what can we do to understand it

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Featured Advocate: Anonymous from Teen Victims of Violent Crimes 9/9

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del50Anonymous: I am an advocate because I was the victim of a shooting in 2005 and I have two boys one 10 and one 14 I have always tried to teach them to respect women. I fight for bullyimg because my oldest has been bullied all through school. Most of all I want victims of any violent crime to have a place to go eithout judgement and talk to other victims who understand.

Teen Victims of Violent Crimes
This is an online support group for teen Victims of Violent Crimes. It is a sister page of
Our mission is to help as many victims as possible through online support.

We are an online support group for teens who are victims of violent crimes.
If you need help finding resources in your area such as dv shelters or anything else we will help the best we can.
We accept victims of rape, bullying, attempted murder and more.
we do not offer financial assistance. Looking for more help go to our sister page

Our goal is to help as many Victims of Violent crimes as possible
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Featured Advocate: Hope from Never Give Up 9/8

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del48Hope: I am an advocate because  lot of friends of mine were into self harm even my self.  When I realized that this thing leads to nothing but towards darkness I started this page.  I want to stop people from self harm and provide them some sort of motivation or inspiration so that some other person shouldn’t destroy his or her life, the way I did.

NEVER GIVE UP
This page is for those people who sooner or later give up some times on them selves and some times on others. So here is the chance to change it guys!! 🙂

I know out there are many people who have already given up. Who are considering them selves a burden on others. May be some of you are about to suicide and may be it is the last thing you are looking at. But don’t it is just a time waste. I have tried my self guys but it is of no use. If some one considers you a burden well now it is the time to show them that you are not just a use less piece of shit you are capable of more!!!

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Featured Advocate: “Bounce” from Krazy Dayz 9/7

 

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del46“Bounce”:  I suffer daily from BiPolar Affective Disorder. If I had the energy and the passion to become a strong advocate for the “de-stigmatizing” of mental illness, I would certainly do so. I wish to draw attention to the “positive” side (if such a thing can be imagined) of being Bipolar.

I suffer from Bipolar Affective Disorder (BAD).

Yeah, I’m BiPolar. So? Sometimes it’s funny! 😀

Unlike almost any other physical disease, Bipolar Affective Disorder shows no visible evidence. Trying to explain my illness to anyone who hasn’t experienced it, either by association or having it themselves, is extremely difficult. Most people don’t realize there is a funny side to having this disorder. I got tired of being all bogged down in the darkness associated with it – this page is one of the tools I use to pull myself up when it’s gotten too bad to handle. Enjoy!
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Featured Advocate: Katie from Survivors Stand Tall 9/6

featured page del44Katie: I am an advocate because I suffer with depression, suicidal thoughts, previously self-harmed, low self-esteem and have panic attacks/anxiety. I have also had people I care about deal with mental health problems, eating disorders, learning difficulties and suicidal attempts/thoughts as well as self-harm. I don’t want other people to have to feel alone while they go through the problems they may face in their lives. It’s inevitable for people to not have problems in their lives but what can be done about it is for them to have someone to support them and help them as best as they can which is what I try to do on my page. I don’t want fame or fortune all I want is to be able to know that I have helped at least one person to get through a rough patch and made coping that little bit easier.

Survivors Stand Tall

We post about mental health such as depression, self-harm, but our main aims is to cheer people up that are dealing with mental health issues. We also will be posting about bands and fandoms. We do NOT tolerate hate comments or bullying on this page. We do S4S/P4P for any page with ANY number of likes. Our Inbox is always open for anyone that needs to chat, wants a promo or wants to ask for something to be shared/changed about the page. Although we say message the page if you need to talk to someone we are NOT professionals and can only tell you our opinion from our own experiences. del45

Featured Advocate: Jodie from Add a little pink to a lady’s life’ 9/5

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del41Jodie: Seven years ago I met a man, he was like a showman, could sell anyone anything, including dreams to young girls. He asked me out for drinks and from that moment on things happened quite quickly between us. We were dating for about several months before he asked me to move to his home town (two hours away) and rent a house together.

It meant I would have to leave my friends and family as well as give up my house and job, but I was so taken in by this man that I wasn’t thinking clearly . Things seemed great between us but looking back on things now I can see that there were  some signs of control in the early stages.  Unfortunately I chose to ignore them. I fell in love with this man very quickly and would have done anything for him.

The day finally came that I moved away from my family home town to start a new life with this man, I was nervous but excited at the same time as I saw it as a fresh start for us both. My family and friends all thought it was very strange that he wanted to move me away from my loved ones and warned me, but of course I never listened.

Five weeks after I had moved away things started to change. This man would drink most days, changing drastically with only a few pints inside him , I began to walk on egg shells and dread him drinking. He would become spiteful towards me and very controlling. He used to put me down, calling me names etc.  This would happen on a daily basis reducing me to tears . I knew I had made a huge mistake but it was far too late to go back as I had given everything up. Plus I had lost friends and family members due to the decision I made so the only option I had was to stay and make it work.

This started getting worse, he started to control who I would talk to, what I would wear and put a time limit on me going to the shops . I wasn’t allowed to work or have friends. I had over eight different mobile numbers in the space of a few years due to him smashing phones up and snapping SIM cards. In the end it was easier to do as he said . He started putting his hands on me , pinching me under my arm which caused bruising, pulling my hair and also pushing me up against a hot radiator.

I was eight weeks pregnant when he come home drunk and pushed me so hard I lost my balance hitting the floor that caused me to bleed and miscarry. Months went by and I was so extremely unhappy and couldn’t see any way out, crying everyday and so scared of even my own shadow.  His family knew what he was and how he was but they never once helped me or even checked to see if I was ok. It was at this point that I knew I was alone and felt like there was no way out. I learned to live with it and it become normal life to me.

No job, no money, no friends, no life and I eventually lost who I was completely , I never even recognized the girl in the mirror starring back at me. I tried to end things and take my own life on more than one occasion just to ease the pain and not feel this suffering anymore but ending up in hospital with this man beside me explaining to doctors and nurses that I was ill and a little crazy , he played the victim , once again and did it well. I was at the lowest point of my life, nowhere to go and felt so alone and so unhappy.  I went from a strong, happy, confident young girl to an unhappy controlled frightened young girl in just a few years .

He always said that ‘I need him’ and ‘I won’t work properly without him’ I guess these words affected me a little and I believed them. I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope without him as he controlled everything even the thoughts in my head. After two years together we had a son together . The pregnancy was hard as the violence still happened and even got worse causing me to hemorrhage twice at five months pregnant and nearly losing my son . He was four weeks early and we had a few problems with him at the start and I know its because of the violence and abuse during the pregnancy , doctors have confirmed this.

Months and years went by and I just become very vacant and learned to live how he wanted me to for an easy life . I put so much weight on as I began to comfort eat and looked twenty years older than I was due to stress and being so unhappy . My son was three years old when the turning point came into my life. This man decided he wanted to break up and moved out and into he’s grandmothers house which was only five minutes away from me. Even though we wasn’t together he was still very much in my life. He called me three times a day, constantly messaging me and calling round to the house on a daily basis to let me know it was on he’s terms and he was still very much in control. I once said I wanted to move back home to be with my family but he went crazy at me saying he would take our son from me and I’ll never see him again.

He quite often made threats to me , that he would hurt me, kill me etc.  Three months went by and things were looking a little positive for me for the first time in years, I had made a friend and I had lost three stone in weight . My friend was celebrating her birthday at the weekend with friends and she asked if I would come, I spoke to him about this and he suggested I go and he would baby sit at my house and sleep on the sofa. I was looking forward to going as it was the first time I was going out in a very long time.

My friend came with me to choose an outfit.   I would normally get trousers to be covered up as he never liked me showing skin. But my friend told me to try dresses on which looked nice and told me to get it which I did . The Saturday night finally arrived and I was extremely excited but nervous as it’s been a while since I had worn a dress and been out.

He arrived to babysit an hour before I was due to leave. He started on me straight, saying I looked like a cheap slut, a slag and was telling me to make sure I didn’t speak to anyone. Straight away I was back on egg shells, scared and frightened and not looking forward to now going out as I knew I was going to get it when I got home.

I eventually got to my friend’s house a half hour late and when questioned I just made excuses up and trying to enjoy the night as best I could. I drank quite a bit of alcohol and had a nice evening with the girls . I called a taxi and got home around 1.30am calling him from the taxi to say I was on my way, he was at the door when I arrived home . Acting weird and being nice to me. He got me a glass of water and helped me to bed. I remember everything of the night including getting home and getting undressed in my room.

The next morning I woke up around 8.00 am feeling terrible , my head was hurting and I still felt drunk, dizzy and not right. As I got up to go to the bathroom,  I noticed a lot of blood on the sheets and duvet. I called him (he was working the market that day) and asked what had happened as I woke up in this state and don’t remember anything. He replied ‘we had sex don’t you remember’ ? This was weird as I always remember even when I’ve been drinking .

He kept ringing throughout the day asking if I was ok  and then he bought me a diamond bracelet which he gave me after work.  I remember thinking to myself this was strange behavior from him but I carried on as normal still not feeling a hundred percent right. The next day (Monday) I couldn’t walk properly , my front and back private areas were extremely painful . Once I told my friend she had a look and told me to get straight to the doctors.

Once seeing the doctor he told me that there was a severe amount of damage caused to my vagina and anus area and that I should go to the police. I was frightened and still so confused by this all that I never did go to the police . I called him and asked him what he had done to me that night and his story changed three times. After speaking with my friend and mum it was clear to me that he had drugged and raped me that night and with our son in the same room as us.

Unfortunately, it took me two months to get the courage to make that call to the police and report everything that he had done to me in the last five years. From that moment my life changed!!! He was arrested and charged on three accounts or rape to myself , he unfortunately didn’t go to prison as there wasn’t enough evidence and I was told that rape is the hardest thing to prove . This felt like another kick to me no that he was in control once again but I never gave up .

The police put a non-molestation order in place to protect me and my child. This was in place for two years. I received a letter from his solicitor saying he would take me to court to see our son. It was at that point that things changed for me. I realized that I had to be the strong person I once was and do the right thing for me and my son. I had to stand up to this man and show him that he wasn’t going to control my life anymore and that I was going to protect my son from being anywhere near this monster.

The court case went on for over a year. It was draining to say the least and put me through every test in more ways than one, but I finally got the person back that I once was . My son gave me the strength to fight this man all the way and do what was right . The judge finally made the decision that there was far too much violence and that this man was denied any visiting rights and even had parental rights taken away from him .

This is very rare that this happens. I remember the day I walked away from the court feeling like that was the day I got my life back!!! That was the day my life changed for me and my child. I’ve now been away from this man for two years and my life is completely different . I moved back home to be near family , living in my house and paying my bills, wearing, eating and talking to who I choose .

I got my laughter and smile back and I’m never loosing it again not for no one . I’m currently working with different agencies and organisations to STOP domestic violence as it affects so many people out there. I also did a skydive jump in march this year and raised £600.00 pounds . I’m setting my own charity up , it’s called ‘add a little pink to a lady’s life’ and I’m hoping to one day write my own book. If I could say something to someone who is going through this, it would be ‘never give up hope, never loose yourself, always tell someone as someone out there will listen, you are not alone.

Always remember it’s not your fault. You are a beautiful person and you do not need to accept this behavior. Look deep inside yourself and grab hold of your strength and fight back…….. Believe in yourself’ lots of love xxx

Add a little pink to a lady’s life’

This page is for women who have been through or are currently experiencing domestic violence. lets make a difference to each others life and smile again.

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Featured Advocate: Colin from Time to Heal Each Other 9/4

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del39Colin:  I am an advocate because I have  Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I started my page  because I could not find a group that offered the kind of support I was looking for. I wanted to offer a page that had positive, uplifting messages and confidential one to one chats with admins.

From one of the members of his page: “He works tirelessly to support people like himself with Mental Health conditions. Even when he is feeling really bad he is there with a sympathetic ear and helpful advice.”

Time to Help Each Other
If you want to chat about any mental health issues you may have,
If you want to chat about any mental health issues you may have, feel free to join and make new friends.We are a friendly, non judgemental group who are available for you to chat about anything you want to.

In addition we will post helpful and supportive links, from other organisations which may help you with how you are feeling today. The group is about you, and therefore you can decide what we discuss and how we can help each other.
We are not a professional group, and if you feel you need specialist professional help when the group is not being manned, you will find a complete list of contacts in the notes section.

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Featured Advocate: Tru Harlow from Cure Mental Illness 9/3

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Tru: I am an advocate because I have an immense amount of knowledge about mental illness and I feel an immense amount of duty to share with the world and help the suffering

Cure Mental Illness

Whether you have been diagnosed with a “mental disorder” or just feel something’s off

Feeling disconnected from yourself

Problems with handling intense emotions

Sudden and unexpected changes in mood, for example feeling very sad for no reason

Depression or anxiety problems or both

If so you may be experiencing some level of DID Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Yes, these are general symptoms but my point is that dissociation effects a larger percent of our population than we think. Confronting the fact that somewhere in our unconscious minds there are stories, emotions or pieces of ourselves that have been stored away. How do we then find ourselves? In doing so we will achieve peace of mind, strength, courage, confidence and independence.

Through this blog I hope to help you help yourselves or others. I will be utilizing a Jungian framework, along with therapeutic research, and studies on the unconscious, dissociation, trauma, and society’s influence in order to put together the missing pieces.

We can become whole. We will seek truth. We will be cured.

We owe it to ourselves and our neighbors to be the best we can be.

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Featured Advocate: Martine from Wellbeing Mentor 9/2

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del36Martine: I believe that children should not suffer mental health problems alone. 1 in 10 children have a diagnosed mental health problem. 1 in every 12 children self harm due to distress. Teenage suicide is sadly the third leading cause of premature death. We must not be ashamed to talk about it. We must all hold our hand out to these desperate young people, and offer support. 

Wellbeing Mentor

I work with children and adolescents to assist in the development of coping strategies for prolonged emotional difficulties.

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Featured Advocate: Women from Maryland Women’s Justice Council 9/1

 

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del34Women: Everyday our advocates are put on the firing line, many of us enduring rape and death threats but we do not capitulate to male rule. We stay the course so that future generations do not have to fear rape while never quite articulating that fear.  Our victim-centric focus and most importantly our gynocentric focus makes us 100% dedicated to female victims of male violence.

This is an uncommon focus as many organizations believe in the ‘equality model’ whereby by males and females are seen as equal and not provided with more care than the other. Male violence against females affects females disproportionately, with femicide at high rates, acid burnings a daily nightmare and rape occurring every 6 seconds and even infant rape becoming more common, we raise awareness and risk our own lives in the process.

Maryland Women’s Justice Council

Resources and support for female victims of rape and domestic violence.

“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.” ~ Judith Lewis Herman

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